infinity

you say youll be there for me through anything? you say you love me more than words could explain? you say i am the best thing that happen to you? YET when i need you the most where are you to be found? not here. not loving me. not telling me it will be okay. not holding me. not reassuring me that you really are here for good. I have cried blood sweat and tears over you. i have changed my life for you. i have lost friends over you. and still all i do isnt good enough for you. You sit here and tell me i have problems. that i have issues. YES i am a young lady who comes with issues and problems. we all do. and if you loved me and cared as much as you “claim” you do, i would never have to hear the words “you have issues”. Your my boyfriend, not my enemy. Open your eyes and realize the girl you already have is the girl who is gonna be there through think and thin. through everything. All for you. maybe you do already realize that. and if you do? then i will not stick around to be treated like a door mat or a punching bag. i want to cry. i want to destroy something and close my eyes and imagine im destroying myself. you make me feel so low. so worthless. so unimportant to the most important person to me. and how does that make me feel? dont bother its not like you care anyways.

—the giant voices in my head packed in a small space trying to escape.